The Terrible Teens
by k-Liight
Summary: In which Tina stresses over college, Gene gets an unexpected crush, and Louise causes mischief with her girlfriend.
1. Chapter 1

**Yup, I'm back again with yet another Bob's Burgers fanfiction that I may or may not finish XD. I'm gonna try to though. Even though I still need to work on Moving Parts. XD as the title may imply, the Belcher kids are teenagers in this story, so they're going to do teenager things. they're going to swear (mostly on Louise's part). they're going to talk about sex (but they're not going to actually do it, don't worry). and they're probably going to be doing some illegal underage drinking (which is not something I condone, so if I do include it it will be for plot purposes only). so just beware of all that XD. I hope you enjoy this story!**

Louise Belcher awoke to the sound of distant groaning. Groggily, she slowly opened her eyes and stared the alarm clock. 6:00 am. What the fuck. She didn't have to get up until 7:00. She tried holding the pillow over her ears to muffle the sound, but she could still hear it. She knew exactly who it was making that noise; after all, there was only one person who groaned like _that_ -Tina.

"Ugh, what the fuck is she doing up so early?" Grumbling, the foul-mouthed fourteen-year-old stumbled out of bed and made her way to her sister's room. The light was already on, and Louise found Tina hunched over at her desk, still groaning.

"Tina, what the hell?" Louise simply said. Tina jumped and swiveled her rolly-chair around to face Louise, sending some papers flying around in the process.

"Ahh! Oh, Louise, uhh, good morning," Tina sheepishly greeted.

"No, not good morning, I got woken up an hour earlier than I needed to because of _your_ groaning! The hell is your problem, anyway?" She took a few steps closer to Tina, who simply started groaning again in response.

"Tina, stop it already!" Louise scolded.

"I'm trying to finish this scholarship essay and it's due today at 3:00 but I'm nowhere near finished so I thought I'd get up early to finish it but I have no idea what to write and now I'm never gonna get it done and I'm never gonna get into college what am I gonna do?!" Tina rambled out a long, panicked response, then took a deep breath and slammed her head against the desk, groaning some more.

"Well that sucks," Louise deadpanned. "Could you try to worry about college a little more quietly? I wanna try to get another hour of sleep."

"Okay," Tina moaned. Louise shook her head and went back in to the comforting seclusion of her own room, snuggling back up under the covers.

When her alarm clock screeched at her an hour later, she reached her arm out from a heap of blankets and angrily slammed it. She never liked getting up for school anyway. And since Tina and Gene were in high school and Louise was stuck at Wagstaff by herself, she hated it even more. She hated not being able to pick on her siblings in the hallways. The time she spent at home with them just wasn't enough for her mischievious heart. Oh well, at least now she had a girlfriend to hang out with.

Louise flung herself out of bed and trekked over to the kitchen, where Bob and Linda were eating peacefully together at the table and Tina was pacing back and forth while munching on a bagel.

"Good morning, Louise!" Linda chirped. Bob turned his head a few times to look around the kitchen.

"Where's Gene?" he asked.

"He probably slept through his alarm again," Louise answered. "I'll go get him."

She made her way over to Gene's bedroom, and knocked on the door.

"Gene! Wake up!" he yelled. It stayed dead silent on the other side of the door. Louise growled, and knocked again, this time harder.

"Gene, get your fat ass out of bed!" She knew it was probably mean for her to say that, but being mean is what Louise did best. When Gene still gave no response, Louise turned the doorknob, finding it unlocked, and flung it open with so much force that it slammed against the wall.

"GE-ENE~!" she screeched. All she got in response to _that_ was a single snore. Gene shifted slightly in his bed, obviously still in dreamland. Screw hurricanes, this guy could sleep through the freaking apocalypse! Louise growled again, and trodded back over to the kitchen, shoulders hunched in annoyance.

"Is he coming?" Bob asked.

"He didn't even fucking wake up," Louise grumbled.

"Louise, you gotta stop saying the f-word so much," Linda warned.

"Your mother's right, Louise," Bob added, "it's not necessary."

"Whatever," Louise said, grabbing a couple of pans from the cupboard.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing with those?" Bob asked.

"I'm still trying to wake Gene up."

"Yeah, but do you have to use my best pans?"

"Louise, you don't need to use those," Linda said, "just shake him awake."

"That only works when you do it, Mom," Louise argued.

"You've got that magic touch," Tina added. Linda sighed.

"Alright, I'll go wake him up. Now put those pans back." Louise silently complied as Linda went over to Gene's room. She took a deep breath, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him back and forth.

"Gene! Wake! Up! You're! Gonna! Be! Late! For! School!" Linda shouted as she shook her son around.

"Huh what?" Gene asked as he finally snapped out of it. He blinked tiredly a few times. "Oh, hi Mom." He flashed her a lazy smile. Linda sighed.

"Gene, I shouldn't have to do this anymore. You're sixteen."

"What can I say, I like seeing my mom when I wake up~."

"Aww, you're so sweet," Linda cooed. They hugged, and Linda kissed her son on the cheek. "Now get up, it's time to get ready for school." Gene grimaced.

"Ugh, Mondays."

"I know, but hey, Mommy made her sausage for breakfast."

"YES!" Gene yelled excitedly. He pushed his covers off of him and practically flew out of bed into the kitchen. Linda was amazed at how fast he left the room, and by the time she got back to the kitchen, Gene was already scarfing down the sausage.

"Well, he's certianly awake now," Bob stated.

"Jesus, Gene, you're such a pig," Louise said.

"And a cute one, too!" Gene boasted, batting his eyes. "Oink Oink!" Tina chuckled, while Louise rolled her eyes.

"Gene, please don't talk with your mouth full," Bob admonished.

"Sorry Dad," Gene apologized, still with a full mouth.

"Oh my god," Bob mumbled.

"Speaking of cute, I gotta do my make-up," Gene said.

"Ugh, really Gene?" Louise asked. "You're gonna make us all late!"

"I won't take long!" Gene swallowed the rest of his sausage and ran off to the bathroom.

"Yeah, and Rome was built in a day," Louise said sarcastically. She honestly didn't care that her brother was feminine and liked wearing make-up, she just wished it didn't take him so damn long to get ready in the morning. Though, she had to admit, he did do a pretty good job at it.

Later that morning, Tina and Louise were outside waiting for Gene, leaning up against Tina's car. Louise pulled out her phone and sent a text message to her brother. _You done yet?_ About two seconds later, her phone beeped, and she opened up Gene's reply. _almost~! ;)_ Louise groaned.

"Ugh, come on Gene!" she said aloud. "If only he could get ready as fast as he can text back." To pass the time, Louise started texting Jessica.

 _Yo Jessica_

 _hey babe ;)_

 _Did I ever tell you that my brother takes FOREVER to get ready?_

 _oh well that sucks_

 _I'm so bored!_

 _you wouldn't be bored if i were here ;)_

 _You dirty little devil you~._

 _no im a big devil you're the little devil_

 _FUCK YOU_

 _when where and how hard? haha_

 _You are so lame_

 _yeah but you love me ;3_

 _Eh, I can't deny that one_

 _still bored?_

 _Yup._

"I'm ready!" Gene suddenly appeared in front of them, all dolled up. Tina and Louise couldn't deny that their brother was very good at fixing himself up. How he could transform from an average joe to a gorgeous model with just a few dabs of make-up and a few strokes of a hairbrush, neither of them would ever know. Not that he wouldn't be attractive anway. "I wore longer pants today, and I _really_ hope I don't get yelled at for them this time."

 _Nevermind, he just showed up. See you at school babe._

"Are they mid-thigh length?" Tina asked Gene.

"Uhhhh..." He shifted his eyes, obviously unsure. He hung his arms flat at his sides and looked down to see if his pants reached his fingertips. They were an inch above them.

"...Almost."

"You're probably gonna get yelled at again," Tina said bluntly.

"Who cares if he gets yelled at?" Louise said impatiently. "We're already running late!"

"Well _somebody's_ impatient," Gene said teasingly. "Since when are you worried about getting to school on time?"

"Since I have a girlfriend that I wanna see before class starts."

"Oh yeah, that's right." Gene paused to remember that Louise had just started dating her friend Jessica the other day. He looked down at his not-quite-long-enough pants. "Maybe the principal won't notice me today..."

"I hate to break it to ya, Gene, but _everybody_ notices you," Louise said as the three of them climbed into Tina's car.

"They do? Damn, I _must_ be pretty."

"Actually, I was gonna say that everyone probably thinks you're a weirdo, but there might be a few crazy people that find you attractive."

"Hey!"

"Don't listen to her, Gene, you're beautiful," Tina said as she started her car.

"Thank you, Tina!" Gene swooned, putting his hands to his cheeks.

"You're welcome. Now let's get going before Louise explodes back there."

"It's about damn time!"


	2. Chapter 2

When the three Belcher siblings finally pulled up to the Wagstaff campus, Louise practically flew out of the car towards the building.

"Whoa, okay, uh, bye Louise," said a surprised Tina.

"We'll never forgive you for this!" Gene yelled.

Louise ignored both of them and instead made a beeline for her locker, where she knew Jessica would be waiting. Sure enough, she found the redhead leaning cooly on the lockers, her arms folded over her chest and one ankle crossed over the other. She quickly retracted herself from this position when she saw Louise.

"There you finally are!" she said teasingly, bringing Louise in for a hug. Louise reciprocated, a little unsurely since this was her first time being in a romantic relationship, and looked at the nearest clock. 7:50. She was five minutes later than she wanted to be. Oh well.

"I told you, my brother takes forever," Louise mumbled.

"Speaking of your brother, I don't think I've seen him in a while, how's he doing?" Jessica asked.

"Oh, he's doing alright I guess. As carefree and crazy as ever. Not like Tina, she's been making the biggest fuss over college lately."

"Oh has she? Well, that's high school seniors for you I guess."

"Yeah they're nuts. Personally I think she should take a gap year, earn some dough before running off. I think that's what Gene's gonna do and that's probably what I'm gonna end up doing too."

"Aww, you don't want your sister to leave you, that's so sweet~," Jessica swooned. Louise blew a strand of hair away from her face in mock annoyance.

"Psh, no, I'm gonna be glad when she's gone. I just want her to stop making a fuss _now_."

"Sure you do," Jessica said, hugging her some more. She had known Louise for five years, she knew that Louise truly did love her siblings. She just would never admit it.

"Louise Belcher doing PDA?" a sudden all-too familiar voice asked menacingly. "I never thought I'd live to see the day!"

Louise knew exactly who it was, and it was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Oh come on Mr Frond, we're just hugging," Louise said defensively. "You don't have to worry about seeing us sucking each other's faces every five seconds, we're not that kind of couple."

"You're just out to break every rule this school's set up for you, aren't you Louise?"

"You know it." Louise clicked her tongue and wriggled out of Jessica's embrace, taking her hand. "Come on babe, we're gonna be late for class."

Meanwhile, Tina and Gene were just arriving at their own school, much later than Tina wanted to.

"Uugghhh, I'm not gonna have time to work on my scholarship essay!" she groaned. Gene scrunched himself up a little, expecting her to yell at him, but instead she just kept on whimpering.

"Tina, relax, can't you do it in lunch or homeroom or something?"

"Yeah but I wanted to do it in the morning too cuz I needed to take every opportunity I could but now I lost one!" Tina huffed.

"Well jeez, you can't have _that_ much more to do."

"...I have one paragraph done."

"Oh." For a few seconds, the two of them remained silent. When they entered the building, Gene spoke up again.

"Tina, if you're really _that_ uninspired, then maybe this isn't the right scholarship for you."

Tina opened her mouth to argue, but then realized that her brother was right.

"...Yeah, maybe a scholarship for farming and agriculture isn't the best idea."

"There's my Tina!" Gene grinned, playfully slapping her on the back. Tina gave her brother a soft smile and stood up confidently.

"Well, now that I've got that off my back-" She was cut off When Tammy Larsen called for her from across the hall.

"Hey Tina! Stilts! Get your butt over here!"

"Here she goes with the lame tall jokes again," Gene mumbled. Tina rolled her eyes and made her way over to Tammy, who was trying to jump up and reach the top of the lockers.

"What's going on?" Tina asked.

"Save the jumping around for gym class!" Gene said.

"Stupid Jimmy Jr and Zeke thought it'd be funny to throw my book on top of the lockers and walk away!" Tammy whined, ignoring Gene. "Is that their idea of a perfect date?!" She grunted a little as she tried yet again to reach her book. The entire school was surprised when Jimmy Jr and Zeke started dating two years ago (Tina stayed silent for a whole week when she heard the news), but for Tammy, it only caused more problems. It seemed that picking on her was their favorite way to spend time together. Tina chuckled a little, amused at her sort-of friend's plight, and easily plucked the book from atop the lockers.

"Oh yeah, rub it in, Big Bird," Tammy spat, shooting a death glare upwards. Tina had shot up like a rocket over the past five years and was now as tall as her father at six feet, something that vertically challenged people like Tammy envied.

"Sorry." Tina, ever the gentle giant, cowered a little and took a step back.

"I think a simple 'thank you' would be nice," Gene said.

"Shut up Gene! No one asked you! Pfft. Like you need to be any taller, either. You and your fancy red heels." Gene was a little bit shorter than Tina, even with his high heels, but he did come pretty close with them on.

"Fresh from Banana Republic," Gene said proudly, pointing down at his shoes.

"Banana Republic?!" Tammy gasped. "I love Banana Republic! I'm gonna go get a pair today." She snatched her book from Tina's hands and strutted away.

"Copycat!" Gene yelled after her. When she was out of his line of sight, he shook his head. "Sheesh. If moods were people, she'd be the biggest swinger in town."

"She's probably just confused," Tina said. Gene chortled.

"Oh my god."

Suddenly, the five-minute bell rang, and everybody moved out of the hallways to their first class.

"Oh crap! Catch ya later, T!" Gene waved to his sister and took off as fast as the poor runner could in high heels.

"By Gene! Don't fall!"

As if on cue, Gene lost his balance and fell right then and there.

"You know what, maybe I'll just powerwalk," she heard him say. She shook her head at her silly brother's behavior and went to class.

"Dude, you've got pie crumbs all over your face."

It was the middle of third period, which, for Gene, was Foods class, and he had taken the liberty of helping himself to some pie while the teacher was out of the room. However, Darryl was keen to point out that the evidence wasn't very well-hidden.

"Oh do I?" Gene asked innocently. He looked down and poked out his tongue, trying to find the pie crumbs. Darryl lauged.

"That accomplished nothing. Except smudging your lipstick." Daryll found this quite amusing, but Gene did not.

"What?!" he gasped in horror. "Oh no! I gotta go fix that! I'll be right back!" Some of the other students laughed as Gene ran out the door-just as the teacher came back in.

"Just where do you think you're going, Mr Belcher?" the teacher asked in a condescending manner.

"Uhhh," Gene quickly wiped his face with his hand in an attempt to get rid of any crumbs, "the bathroom!" He looked down for a split second to see that his hand was now all covered in lipstick. "Aw crap." The teacher sighed.

"Make it quick."

"Okay thanks bye!" Gene powerwalked off to the restroom in an embarassed panic. He rushed to the mirror and let out a soft scream at the sight. "This is a disaster!" He quickly brushed off the crumbs with his hands and then grabbed a paper towel and dabbed at the stray smudges around his mouth. He hummed in a mildly digusted manner as he frowned at the brown paper towel. _These paper towels are crap. And now my face is itchy._ He scratched under his nose. _Oh well._ Sighing, he pulled out his tube of lipstick from his side pocket. Today's color was a watermelon color that blurred the line between red and pink. He popped the cap off and was about to apply it when the sound of a toilet flushing startled him and caused him to let out a small yelp. He wasn't think anyone else was in here.

"Oh, sorry," an embarassed, red-haired kid said, stepping meekly out of the stall.

"Peter Pescadero? What are you doing here?"

"I was going to the bathroom," Peter said matter-of-factly. "What are _you_ doing in here?"

"Fixing my lipstick."

"Oh." Peter turned on the sink to wash his hands as he watched Gene apply his lipstick. The tube glided smoothly over his full, plump lips. He pressed them together, then released them with a _pop!_ and smiled at his reflection.

"There! I'm cute again!"

"Y-you'd be cute anyway," Peter said shyly.

"Aww, Peter, you're too much!" Gene gushed. Peter hummed in amusement as he grabbed a paper towel.

"So did you hear the news?" he asked.

"News? What news?"

"I guess you didn't. Todd is back in town, and he's going to high school here."

Gene's tube of lipstick fell to the floor in shock.

"Yeah, that was my response too," Peter said, laughing a little at Gene's stunned silence.

" _Todd's back?_ Todd from the Wagstaff cheer squad?!"

"Yeah, and he's trying out for our school's cheer squad too!"

"Oh. My. God!"

After the Regional Cheer Finals on King's Head Island, Gene and Todd ended up becoming pretty good friends. But after graduating junior high, Todd had to move away and go to a different high school. Gene hadn't seen him since, and kind of missed him. But now he was coming here? The thought excited Gene so much that he immediately turned back to the mirror and began fixing every little thing that could be flawed; brushing his hair out of his face, smoothing his shirt out, picking pieces of fuzz out of his clothing, and so on.

"Jeez, I don't think he's gonna care about you're appearance," Peter said.

"I haven't seen the guy in two years!" Gene argued. "I gotta make a good second first impression on him!" He picked a wild leftover pie crum from the few stray hairs on his chin.

"Well, whatever you say," Peter sighed as he walked out of the bathroom. "See ya later!"

But Gene didn't hear him, for he was too busy making sure his arm hair wasn't messed up.


End file.
